what means the most to me

little baby everett is 1 month old today.
having four littles 4 and under is crazy & joyful. each day is getting better. and overall i feel very blessed! I have had so much help and have felt an outpouring of love from MOM & MICHI, family, friends, & my new ward {which i have only been to twice}....and it has made this new transition smooth.  Besides -- everything is easier when your not 10 months pregnant!!

I went into labor with baby E Monday night at 3am. My sweet friend Melissa came over to watch my kiddos while Devin & I went to the hospital. My contractions were 4 or so minutes apart so we didn't want to delay {Tomi's delivery we were in the hospital for a matter of 10 min before she popped out}
Labor ended up being 8 hours  - double Mae's 4 hour delivery - but one of my BEST. I was in the huge  tub {see midwife epidural} for 5 hours. Seems like forever, but it was comfy and i wasn't about to get out.  Devin could tell i was getting close to delivery and so he told the nurse to get the midwives in there. I ended up having a couple chill contractions in between some intense ones so they just waited in the room with me for 30 min. Which was reassuring. I even fell asleep between contractions for a minute or so. And it was a good thing the midwives were there... because they pretty much demanded i get out of the tub and hop on the bed because the baby was ready to be born! I literally stepped out of the tub and a minute or 3 later & 2 pushes and he was born. This was my most composed labor. I was calm & controlled...no screams from this momma this time! It is all about the tub and some awesome relaxing music. And of course... dEVIN!

it was my best labor & my best recovery.
I healed so fast this time and didn't have to use a drop of lanolin. {which has never happened}

I was mostly solo in the hospital which allowed a lot of rest, sleep, and baby cuddle time. It was a SWEET time.

As I lay there the afternoon after his birth I felt a strong feeling of peace thick in the room...emanating from baby everett's sweet soul. My heart was so happy to have him. 

The peace was so noticeable in opposition to the feelings of anxiety i had been feeling for 8 months. The memory of mae's delivery had not faded sufficiently{only a short 15 months ago} :)

NOT only that... I was soooo scared for this baby to come.   I doubted my ability to mother 4 kids 4 & under and was just plain anxious for what was fast approaching. 

I said a prayer to Heavenly Father asking him to help me plant this peaceful feeling deep in my heart. Help me to savor it and hold on to it.
As I knew that crazy times were ahead of me and I would need this sacred reminder. 

So here we are...a month later...

we have had our fair share of frustrating moments. screaming babies {all 4 of them} and a screaming mommy! tears & joy. sweet cuddles with a sweet baby. waking up every 1.5 hours - yikes! - at night. feeling stretched because all 4 kiddos need me at the same time...most of the time. LOVE having dinner show up at my door! - amazing!! a loving daddy who steps in to sweep the floor, clean the kitchen, wrestle with energetic kids, grab diapers at the store, let mom sleep in & nap...

just today hugh was saying...."wouldn't it be great if grandma michi were here to read Mae a book, and Daddy was here to play ninjas with me, and grandma kathy could draw ballerinas for Tomi and you could hold baby Everett."   Can you tell I have been explaining to him that there is only one mommy & four littles??

mae mae doesn't seem jealous - she speaks in a really kind voice as she "talks" to the baby, but i do fear for the baby's life at times...she has started wacking family members on the head with toys, pulling hair...and if you start to scold her or grab her she instinctively starts swinging with whatever hard object she has in her hands. She also tries to sit on my lap sometimes when I am holding the baby...not out of jealousy...but just wanting to sit on mom's lap. Have you seen mae compared to baby E? she would crush him. :) She has also turned into a climber. she is constantly on top of tables, climbing into the highchair, playing in the sink, or trying to scale up the side of baby e's pak n play.

tomi is a loving sister and helps mommy retrieve diapers, blankies, binkies, and lays softly by baby E when he is screaming and I can't quite get to him. She is my night roamer and ends up in the comfy recliner {that i nurse the baby in} in our room sometimes 3 times a night.

hugh has got this whole having a baby thing down. He talks so sweetly to baby everett. He helps entertain/torment tomi  & mae by running around the house with them. He also retrieves Mae off the tables for me. He really is sweet to his little sisters! and they love him. He is also very forgiving to his mommy as sometimes his high energy sends me to my crazy place.

it is amazing what a month will bring.
the day e turned 1 month...
tomi is MIRACULOUSLY getting all her poops in the potty.
 [after close to 4 months NOT in the potty. ever.]
i am no longer waking up constantly drenched in sweat. postpartum hotness is no bueno.
baby e is sleeping 3 to 4 hours at night. amazing!

I still am completely terrified to go anywhere with four littles alone.