sometimes i feel like the worst mom.
you know when something inside you just builds....can't even explain what it is...but it just builds & builds and then you lose all composure on a little one eating rice like a maniac because the rice flying everywhere just puts you over the top.
I am not a clean freak to say the least. I will take a nap even with a high pile of dishes, 6 loads of laundry to be folded, crumbs on the floor (but that is endless), tornado playroom, disheveled back porch, etc. you get the point. no need to describe how messy my house always is.
But at the same time... the mess eats at me. The constantness of 4 littles dragging stuff all around the house in & out even after i just picked it up/living within a chasm of crumbs & blocks & legos....eats at me. I don't like this eating of me, either.
Is that why i all the sudden lose it about a handful of rice raining to the ground?? really? rice. was it worth it? nope.
anyways. its times like these when i feel like i can't measure up as a mom. I don't have the composure to stay cool all the time. I have to remind myself that these sweet little ones are so young & so sweet. Because they are so sweet and sometimes i forget that. And those are not my best moments.
If only there was a mom club. where we got together. shopped. ate dinner. and told each other how it really is. came clean. Wouldn't it be nice to realize that we aren't the only ONE?
9 comments:
We need to live by each other again!! We miss you guys! You are a great mom and those babes love you.
Hey, I guarantee I lose it a lot more than you. :) I tend to forget that my 3yo is only three and that my babies should know better. Ha! But you are right, kids are sweet. You are a fabulous mom! Don't sell yourself short.
I think that's why they start out as babies- we have a lot of years of a grace period before they remember all our freak outs! You wouldn't be human if your composure never wavered, your patience never ended. I just tell myself these are great examples to teach our kids that we, too, know how to say "I'm sorry. I screwed up." Your losing it isn't completely in vain! You're doing amazing, Becca! xoxo
Seriously- Let's start that club. Lunch date this weekend. You in?
Becca! I think you're great! You know Heavenly Father wouldn't have given you those sweet kids so close together unless he knew what an awesome mom you are! We miss you over here!
So want in on the club. Diddo on every feeling you have!
Becca-
I am not much of an online girl, but I ran into your blog months ago and it is one of the very few I check. Why? Because I LOVE your posts! They make me feel like someone else knows what I am going through. I have four kids all five and under (the youngest are twins) and two of them have special needs. I want you to know that EVERY single time I look at your blog I think, Wow, Becca is such a great mom! Thanks for keeping it real and believe me, we have all been there (I am constantly there still :) You are awesome.
Lots of love,
Maren Hill (Jones)
P.S. Sorry for the blog stalking
Becca love your post tonight, I'm so the president of that club :) I think I could write a book about days I have failed in motherhood. I think your one amazing mom and I love our kids growing up by each other :).
Hey you! I have not been to visit this blog in a while and I am missing out! I just printed and closed mine down. No time as you can probably relate to. I am here and real and ready to tell the truth anytime. Call me. I have nothing to hide and know that it is OK. love you.
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